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OSR: Star Trek Beyond July 23, 2016

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One-Sentence Review: Star Trek Beyond

Far more fun than expected for a poorly-marketed albeit entertaining Star Trek entry.

Rating: Full-Price Ticket (8/10)

Rating System: Needs IMAX 3D Glasses (10), Full-Price Ticket (9-8), Matinee Ticket (7-6), Wait for Digital (5-4), Late-Night Cable Fodder (3-2), I’ve Made Better Films With My Ass Camera (1)

OSR: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice March 26, 2016

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One Sentence Review: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Not sure I saw the same film as 2/3 of the critics out there because this — while overly long — was pretty damn entertaining.

Rating: Matinee Ticket (7/10)

Rating System: Needs IMAX 3D Glasses (10), Full-Price Ticket (9-8), Matinee Ticket (7-6), Wait for Digital (5-4), Late-Night Cable Fodder (3-2), I’ve Made Better Films With My Ass Camera (1)

OSR: Deadpool February 14, 2016

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One Sentence Review: Deadpool

I shot my load at the Juice Newton opening, rolled over, and slept through the rest of the film, soooooo who wants to go see it again?

Rating: Full-Price Ticket (9/10)

Rating System: Needs IMAX 3D Glasses (10), Full-Price Ticket (9-8), Matinee (7-6), Wait for Digital (5-4), Late-Night Cable Fodder (3-2), I’ve Made Better Films With My Ass Camera (1)

OSR: Hail, Caesar February 6, 2016

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One Sentence Review: Hail, Caesar

This light fare from the Coen brothers is a disjointed, purposeless romp which still manages to entertain.

Rating: Wait for Digital (5/10)

Rating System: Needs IMAX 3D Glasses (10), Full-Price Ticket (9-8), Matinee (7-6), Wait for Digital (5-4), Late-Night Cable Fodder (3-2), I’ve Made Better Films With My Ass Camera (1)

Favorite Songs of 2015 December 17, 2015

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12. “Cake by the Ocean” – DNCE

This song is so silly and irresistible in its sugary pop chants and shouts, it may as well be a musically version of cake. Except it’s actually about cunnilingus. Hilarious.

11. “I’m in Love with My Life” – PHASES

The album from which this is culled is an attempt at old-school Blondie except this song. A celebration of life, PHASES creates a joyous ode to just feeling good in the present.

10. “What Do You Mean?” – Justin Bieber

What can I say? It’s a great song. A more mature Bieber having an adult conversation in his own head set to a bouncy beat, pan-flute synths, and a catchy melody makes for the first time he’s caught my ear.

9. “Diamonds” – Giorgio Moroder ft. Charli XCX

Did we need another song about a girl’s best friend? Yes, it turns out. Fun, infectious cut from Giorgio’s disappointing return to the charts has Charli XCX cooing over the bright, shiny starlight her latest benefactor has gifted to her.

8. “Mister Sister” – Kate Pierson

The first single from her first solo album has the red-headed siren from B-52’s shows her support for the transgendered community focused through a character named Debbie Delicious. Lovely and positive, it’s great to hear Kate’s big voice again.

7. “The Hills” – The Weeknd

His performance on SNL completely won me over. This is one of songs like “Milkshake” that makes you wonder how in the hell it became a hit. Dark, brooding, and honest, “The Hills” is so visceral you wonder if it’s about someone he knows or if it’s autobiographic.

6. “Tilted” – Christina and the Queens

Wonderfully eclectic and so very French, Christina is also fun to see live. This song was written as validation to those who have quirky personalities, so there may be a chance I subconsciously relate. The video is quite frankly brilliant in its simplicity.

5. “Will You Dance?” – The Bird and the Bee

Seriously. How was this not a hit? Granted it’s more of 80-90’s pop song, but still! Plus the video is hilarious.

4. “Hey QT” – QT

Self-referrencing attempt to sell a made up soda which eventually was made to promote the song and K- & J-Pop influences. It’s so meta you’d think it would be a determent. …then the beat hits…

3. “Deja Vu” – Giorgio Moroder ft. Sia

Even if Giorgio’s album wasn’t as fun as I was hoping there are still three or four great songs on it. This I think the best. Boogie-inducing and melancholy at the same time, this hopeful song is pure heaven. And that chorus!

2. “Froot” – Marina & the Diamonds

Ok, drag queens, listen up. Marina has a plethora of material for your performance consideration. This one especially. So many plant puns and all broadcasting she ready for the sex. How could this not win over an audience?

1. “Pressure Off” – Duran Duran ft. Janelle Monáe and Nile Rodgers

If you aren’t on your feet by the time the most amazing chorus Duran Duran has recorded in two decades hits, please see your doctor. Duran Duran best attempt to break into the 10’s and it works. Cohesive, arena-sized, and hooks galore, “Pressure Off” is their pop masterpiece for the new millennium. It is indeed time to step out into the future.

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