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OSR: Guardians of the Galaxy August 17, 2014

Posted by Howard in movies.
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One Sentence Review: Guardians of the Galaxy

I wanna be 10-years-old again!

Rating: Needs IMAX 3D Glasses (10/10)

Rating System: Needs IMAX 3D Glasses (10), Full-Price Ticket (9-8), Matinee (7-6), Wait For Digital (5-4), Late-Night Cable Fodder (3-2), I’ve Made Better Films With My Ass Camera (1)

The Cycle of Westros Winter June 9, 2014

Posted by Howard in satire, silliness, television.
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a_game_of_thrones_genesis-1291577
Winter is lonely
Winter is pondering companionship
Winter is placing a singles ad
Winter is receiving requests to meet
Winter is thrilled
Winter is making plans to meet
Winter is putting on a flattering outfit
Winter is nervous
Winter is traveling south
Winter is greeting with a clammy hand
Winter is sitting down
Winter is starting some small talk
Winter is finding a groove
Winter is charming
Winter is paying for dinner
Winter is getting an invite for a nightcap
Winter is becoming bold
Winter is kissing
Winter is making it to the next round of the jousting tourney
Winter is fumbling with laces
Winter is naked
Winter is realizing its still on the chaise lounge
Winter is not caring
Winter is entering a soft wetness
Winter is feeling lightheaded yet glorious
Winter is wondering why this doesn’t happen more often
Winter is breathing hard
Winter is arriving at the point of no return
Winter is coming
Winter is spent
Winter is basking in the afterglow
Winter is needing smoke weed
Winter is feeling slightly regretful
Winter is spending the night, dark and full of terrors
Winter is contemplating slinking out
Winter is leaving
Winter is returning north of the Wall
Winter is gripping the meaning of its intentions and actions
Winter is sobbing
Winter is vowing to never do it again
Winter is going on with its life
Winter is beginning to feel happy again
Winter is fogging over its past
Winter is lonely

OSR: X-Men: Days of Future Past May 26, 2014

Posted by Howard in movies.
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One Sentence Review: X-Men: Days of Future Past

The latest X-Men film gets almost everything right including a very moving speech Patrick Stewart’s Xavier delivers to himself, but the very best thing is that it eradicates the events of Bret Ratner’s X-Men: The Last Stand from everyone’s memory except us, the film goers.

Rating: Full-Price Ticket (9/10)

Rating System: Needs IMAX 3D Glasses (10), Full-Price Ticket (9-8), Matinee (7-6), Wait For Digital (5-4), Late-Night Cable Fodder (3-2), I’ve Made Better Films With My Ass Camera (1)

OSR: Godzilla May 18, 2014

Posted by Howard in movies.
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One Sentence Review: Godzilla

Despite dippy dialogue and one-dimensional characters (Ken Watanabe’s talents are completely wasted), this is a great summer movie which not only gets Godzilla right, but is a masterpiece compared to Roland Emmerich’s 1998 version.

Rating: Matinee (7/10)

Rating System: Needs IMAX 3D Glasses (10), Full-Price Ticket (9-8), Matinee (7-6), Wait For Digital (5-4), Late-Night Cable Fodder (3-2), I’ve Made Better Films With My Ass Camera (1)

OSR: The Grand Budapest Hotel March 17, 2014

Posted by Howard in movies.
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One Sentence Review: The Grand Budapest Hotel

While it was more in line with the quality of The Life Aquatic, Wes Anderson’s latest did have some great moments and kept a smile on my face throughout.

Rating: Matinee (7/10)

Rating System: Needs IMAX 3D Glasses (10), Full-Price Ticket (9-8), Matinee (7-6), Wait For Digital (5-4), Late-Night Cable Fodder (3-2), I’ve Made Better Films With My Ass Camera (1)

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